The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is finally here, which means you’ll be dedicating tonight to bemoaning your lack of abs, while gorging on snacks with your roommates at the same time. While it’s an entertaining evening, it’s far funnier with a cocktail in hand (preferably a vodka soda, because lord knows you don’t want to be consuming calories).
Anytime the following occurs, drink up:
1. You contemplate forcing your gentleman caller to grow a man bun, Hozier style.
Take an extra sip for wondering when the last time he washed his hair was.
2. There’s an Angel on stage who makes you seriously consider giving up carbohydrates. And you LOVE carbohydrates.
3. You wonder if Adam Levine would possibly give you a disease (and whether or not it would be worth it).
4. Karlie Kloss and Taylor Swift look like such fun besties, they make you consider rocking black lace Disney villain ensembles with your own platonic significant other/life partner.
5. Ed Sheeran can’t stop smiling, creeper-style.
6. Every time Taylor Swift (or any Angel) friend zones Ed Sheeran. (Or just towers over him.)
7. Ariana Grande looks like a small child who lost her parents in K-Mart and found her way onstage.
