In many ways, college is the grown up version of summer camp (except with happy hour drinks and parties that aren’t supervised by counselors, of course). But just like when you went to camp, there’s a point when it’s just time to go home, a la Drake.
That’s why I’ve put together a list of the 11 undeniable signs that it’s time to return to a magical land with minimal responsibilities and a fully stocked fridge.
1. You’ve officially run out of clean underwear.
And t-shirts. And leggings. Either it’s time to start wearing that ugly outfit you only bought because it was on sale or it’s time to go back to a place where your mom is there to help you avoid turning all of your white clothes pink.
2. There’s only one microwavable mac and cheese left (and you’re saving it for a pre-flight snack).
This also goes for those of us who have been subsiding on nothing but peanut butter sandwiches because we’re too lazy/stressed/broke to go to the store and buy groceries.
3. The thought of going to the dining hall one more time gives you a mild panic attack.
You’ve been subsiding on Lucky Charms and breadsticks for the past week.
4. Your conversations are predominately about how much you miss your dog.
No one loves hearing about that really adorable thing your dog did two years ago as much as you do. I promise.
5. Somehow it never dawned on you that summer was going to end.
Not only does this mean you probably had to panic-buy a sweatshirt from the bookstore when it finally got cold, it also means that it’s time to return home with an empty suitcase and retrieve your winter clothes.
6. You’ve forgotten how to drive a car.
You’re pretty sure you remember what side of the road you’re supposed to be driving on. Watch out, world.
7. Forget seeing all your home friends, all you want is your bed.
There’s nothing like a twin XL mattress that has seen better days to make you long for the comfort of your bed at home.
8. On that note, you’re also willing to forgo any form of social interaction for your shower.
The constant cold showers with no water pressure will make you feel as if you permanently smell like a combination of stale beer and the blood/sweat/tears scent of the library.
9. You’re starting to refer to the library as home.
The pre-Thanksgiving push is hell. Who told professors is was okay to cram everything in to two days when all we can think about is gorging on food that didn’t come from a microwave or dining hall?
10. Everyone is tired of hearing about your favorite local fast food chain.
People have started to block out your rants about the merits of New Jersey vs. New York bagels.
11. You’ve decided that your family holiday traditions aren’t that embarrassing.
Whether this is a product of growing up or pre-Thanksgiving induced insanity I don’t know, but it’s a sure sign you need to go home and remember that pretending to still believe in Santa when you’re 21 years old isn’t the coolest thing you’ve ever done.
